Policy

Okay, take it easy Rick. T-that’s dark. Not so fast Morty. You heard your mom. We’ve got adventures to go on, Morty. Just you and me. And sometimes your sister, and sometimes your mom, but never your dad. You wanna know why, Morty? Because he crossed me. Because I don’t respect therapy; because I’m a scientist; because I invent, transform, create, and destroy for a living, and when I don’t like something about the world, I change it. And I don’t think going to a rented office in a strip mall to listen to some agent of averageness explain which words mean which feelings has ever helped anyone do anything. I think it’s helped a lot of people get comfortable and stop panicking, which is a state of mind we value in the animals we eat, but not something I want for myself. I’m not a cow, I’m a pickle… when I feel like it. This isn’t Game of Thrones, Morty.

You little monster! I thought you were masturbating! Don’t Morty me! I tricked Rick into taking Dad on an adventure because I thought I could get a break from this kind of shit! But no! Like father, like goddamn daughter! You wanna be like Rick?! Congratulations! You’re just as arrogant and just as irresponsible! Quote mode. Don’t even trip about your pants, dawg. We got an extra pair right here.

Where are my testicles, Summer? Looks like some sort of legally safe knockoff of an ’80s horror character with miniature swords for fingers instead of knives! Allahu blehhhh Akbar! Do you know how many characters there are in the Simpsons Morty? There’s like a-a billion characters, M-Morty. There was an episode where Former President BUSH was their neighbor!

Is he keeping his shoulders square? Oooooooh he’s tryin’! You ask alotta questions Morty, not very charismatic of you. Full disclosure, Morty - it’s not. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the Megaseeds dissolving in your rectal cavity. Shadow Jacker, you haven’t come out of your masturbation cave in eons!